It comes to the point where I hate my job. I really do. But you hit that point also where you become stuck as you cannot do anything for it and need the money. It’s a terrible position and a place where the darkest ones furrow deep into when in desperate need. I am in said position as of right now. It is awful. What’s worse is that it pays pretty good money and I am sincerely saddened that I knew I could come crawling back to a company that would hold me even though a year ago almost, they threw me out. And I said I wouldn’t touch them again. Yet, here I am.
It also does not help that I am still figuring out what I want in life… I mean, I’ve been pretty lost and floating since I stepped out of dance… I mean, I know I am a people person, I love animals and socialness, I love to help and I love the outdoors. Now that bloody helps, right? Not. If I picked anything that sounded remotely interesting… it seems that it requires school. *sigh* always. So, what is that telling me? Go to school? Or pick something without it? My mother did it. If she could do it whilst full time AND bills and FUCKING OVERLOAD then come on. I am sure I can too, right? We shall see. It’s being able to budget budget budget and not go over it and be able to do it. Keep up and not slack off and continue and go go go.
But that isn’t even an option until I have a steady, permanent job, debt paid off, NEW CAR, but that needs to happen first. Perhaps the job (that I will hopefully get) this fall and maybe can use for quite some time.
The question is: can I do it?